Creating Complex

Sadly my to-do list & call of the urgent totally dominates the whisper of create. I don't a creative block or lack of desire but I don't make anything that is not without a deadline or if all of the decks are clear. Martyr complex? Perfectionism rearing its ugly head? Not sure, all I know is art making seems to a reward for getting the rest of my life in order and caught up rather than an integral part of it. this I have struggled with for YEARS. It's not like I don't know what to do, I just don't do it...

Art Coach Lesley Riley once asked me once if I really WANTED to be a professional artist as I wasn't acting like it (putting it last always). Again contemplating the middle aged mom martyr syndrome.

Steps this week to change? Bringing everything I have to do onto the desk in my studio so at least all my supplies are tempting and taunting me visually. Believe it or not this is working, I am going to go make/finish SOMETHING! uhhh right after I fold the dryer buzzer that just went off... Berating myself for the fact today is Thursday and my week at home is almost over and I am on duty at the shop all week next week...  Good thing I LOVE my day job...