Goals are good. But even better? Effort.

Two years ago I set a goal of painting 52 paintings for 2021. I thought if I am supposed to be a professional, surely I manage that, right? And I hit my number with some to spare.

Last year? Eh, not so much. 

I could blame covid finally hitting our household after we had managed to dodge it all this time. 

That was one of many things that derailed me in 2022.

But I was also distracted by helping my mom move, friends illnesses, and a couple of broken bones in house. Although many wonderful things happened last year, the 2022 was a bit of a bummer and its aftereffects are lingering.

But then it dawned on me I was going about my keeping score entirely the wrong way.

And I should know better.

Back when I was a corporate recruiter I used to counsel my team not to worry about the results (their goals and quotas) but to concentrate on their efforts. At that then the desired results would follow. 

So why hadn't I heeded my own advice? 

                                         

I realized I mentally was still living in a "lock down world" where the old rules didn't seem to apply. 

AND that even if I wanted to apply my normal standards to my productivity I couldn't. 

(I am here to tell you post covid fatigue is still wiping me out.)

Being reminded to treat myself the way I treated others was a bit of a wake-up call. 

My husband broke his leg in December. I certainly do not expect him to be 100% yet.

Helping him with his daily therapies remind me that I too needed to start at the beginning and concentrate on my effort and what I am capable of instead of expecting to do "x plus the year before" like I did in my corporate life.

It's humbling though.

I didn't finish my first painting this year until the third week of January. I started that darn thing back in the fall. Whew.  I started measuring my studio time in ten minute increments instead of items completed. My physical stamina was non existent, but worse was the lack of motivation and brain fog.

Reading about long covid made me fear I would not get better but day by day it's getting better.

Today I worked for a whole hour before I had to sit down. It felt good.

Just like my work is made of lots of small pieces I am trying to remember that small pieces of effort add up to create a whole. Who knows maybe I will make the 52 painting goal this year. We shall see.

 I am lucky. I have very patient clients, a roof over my head and food in the fridge. New things are happening. I have a solo exhibition coming in May. I am teaching a workshop tomorrow, albeit sitting down!

Today is Day 3 of #the100dayproject where I am attempting to get some words out everyday. This deliberate concentration is an effort and honestly harder than it used to be.

I appreciate you reading along.

PS These thumbnails are the bulk of the works I did last year. I am delighted and amused by the variety. Do you have a favorite?