Goals are good. But even better? Effort.

Two years ago I set a goal of painting 52 paintings for 2021. I thought if I am supposed to be a professional, surely I manage that, right? And I hit my number with some to spare.

Last year? Eh, not so much. 

I could blame covid finally hitting our household after we had managed to dodge it all this time. 

That was one of many things that derailed me in 2022.

But I was also distracted by helping my mom move, friends illnesses, and a couple of broken bones in house. Although many wonderful things happened last year, the 2022 was a bit of a bummer and its aftereffects are lingering.

But then it dawned on me I was going about my keeping score entirely the wrong way.

And I should know better.

Back when I was a corporate recruiter I used to counsel my team not to worry about the results (their goals and quotas) but to concentrate on their efforts. At that then the desired results would follow. 

So why hadn't I heeded my own advice? 

                                         

I realized I mentally was still living in a "lock down world" where the old rules didn't seem to apply. 

AND that even if I wanted to apply my normal standards to my productivity I couldn't. 

(I am here to tell you post covid fatigue is still wiping me out.)

Being reminded to treat myself the way I treated others was a bit of a wake-up call. 

My husband broke his leg in December. I certainly do not expect him to be 100% yet.

Helping him with his daily therapies remind me that I too needed to start at the beginning and concentrate on my effort and what I am capable of instead of expecting to do "x plus the year before" like I did in my corporate life.

It's humbling though.

I didn't finish my first painting this year until the third week of January. I started that darn thing back in the fall. Whew.  I started measuring my studio time in ten minute increments instead of items completed. My physical stamina was non existent, but worse was the lack of motivation and brain fog.

Reading about long covid made me fear I would not get better but day by day it's getting better.

Today I worked for a whole hour before I had to sit down. It felt good.

Just like my work is made of lots of small pieces I am trying to remember that small pieces of effort add up to create a whole. Who knows maybe I will make the 52 painting goal this year. We shall see.

 I am lucky. I have very patient clients, a roof over my head and food in the fridge. New things are happening. I have a solo exhibition coming in May. I am teaching a workshop tomorrow, albeit sitting down!

Today is Day 3 of #the100dayproject where I am attempting to get some words out everyday. This deliberate concentration is an effort and honestly harder than it used to be.

I appreciate you reading along.

PS These thumbnails are the bulk of the works I did last year. I am delighted and amused by the variety. Do you have a favorite?

"We are homesick most for the places we have never known.' Carson McCullers.

 I must confess I didn't recognize Carson McCullers name when I stopped dead in my Instagram feed when I saw this photo. Upon reading a birthday tribute to the author of 'The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" all I could think of was that she herself looked hunted, or perhaps haunted. The unattributed photo followed my thoughts, I felt compelled to try to capture that look in her eyes.

 Reading a little more about her (like the Wall Street Journal article here or the mini bio here) revealed a complex, challenging life. Now I need to decide which of her novels to read first. Please do tell me if you have a favorite.

Carson MCCullers - detail by TW Stifel

 This portrait is on stretched canvas with a loose collage of vintage and antique papers adhered as a foundation.  I pencil sketched her face. Many erasures later I used Liquitex acrylic paints thinned with gel medium to almost a watercolor transparency to paint her features and shadows. The shirt was sculpted in heavy body acrylic with a palette knife, scraping it pretty hard so the paper was show through.  I am pretty happy with how she came out.

99% of the photos of McCullers are somber so I was delighted to see this one on goodreads.com

July 29, 1929 - Dear Albert,

I love to use vintage ephemera in my art. I scour thrift shops and flea markets mostly. I am also lucky enough to have friends that gift me with stacks of paper goodness. I use them for backgrounds and cut them up for texture like the hair highlights in this work in progress.

But sometimes things come across your table that you just can't take scissors to.  I was gifted a pile of old papers and in this piles are some amazing letters. Frustratingly there are single pages of some sassily provocative correspondence.

Read this!

I need to find page 2! And how about these pages?

Who are Dotti and Albert? How could someone let these go?

I have no letters or papers from my family.  Even though I doubt they could compare with Dottiotoski!

c'est fini

 Thought you would enjoy seeing the boys complete!

 Even more fun?  You can slide a favorite photo into the threads that are holding the photo down and make yourself or a loved one the centerpiece of the collage!

cool, eh?

Creativity on Demand

Nothing like a deadline to get me to finish something!  24 home from vacation I finished 2 collages, worked a full day at the shop and hung out with my neighbors at a fire pit party.  (NOT necessarily in that order!).

While I was working this evening, my lovely neighbor even offered to run my pieces down to our gallery.  Yippee!  On the agenda, a little family time: sleep in, church and clearing the post holiday debris field before we head to the shop.  Catch up time!

Chaos ensues!

 I get LOTS of compliments on how nicely arranged my shop is.  And when I have company coming the studio can look pretty cool too.  When I am actually MAKING art?  Eh, not so much...

 One of the "joys" of mixed media work is that EVERYTHING is an art supply.  The tricky thing is that my work has a LOT of layers so I end up working on multiple things at the same time while waiting for the proverbial paint (or glue!) to dry. 

 Obviously I have a lot going on.  Stay tuned for some actual finished pieces.

I had meeting number one with my personal PMP (project management professional) and his eyes rolled back in his head when I gave him all of my goals and projects I am trying to juggle.  Good to know I can frighten a professional...

PS Sold my blonde babe collage! Thank you Kevin.

Happy Birthday to me!

Transitioning is hard. Transitioning form chore to chore, duty to duty. Parenting, home keeping, shopkeeping, artist, and paperwork, paperwork, ppaperwork!  When exactly is it I am supposed to whip up gourmet meals, exercise to lose this spare tire, make art, take my husband dancing, not neglect my friends, pursue my spiritual life and ugh, do more paperwork?  Seems like if I actually finish any one task it is always to the detriment of another.  Anybody out there have any advice about structuring one's work day?

One day that is never work is my BIRTHDAY!  Turned (gulp) 49 on Friday and my awesome neighbors and my usual suspects came over and had copious nibbles and raised a toast!  Thanks everyone for all of the birthday goodies and a wonderful time.  Here's a toast to my awesome sister Robin who attempts to keep me on track (and stands in for my left brain as I have none!).  Cheers!